I know that I have been alluding to an impending absence for a while now. It may appear that I am just going down the Shore, but the truth is that this will be a working vacation. I’ve recently signed with a major publisher to write a series of books. You’ll be able to find them in the self-help isle of your local bookseller. I can’t disclose the publisher yet, but I can release the of my series which is called You are all Stupid, You are all Wrong:

Why Do You Make Me Hit You?
This is Why I Can’t Have Nice Things
I Didn’t Ask to be Born
This Will Hurt You More Than It Hurts Me
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me, but I can’t wait for the book tour!

There are two things I wish I was around for next week:

Nats vs. Fleas – a crucial series in the 2nd Annual Half-smoke/Cheesesteak Challenge. Philadelphia leads the season series 5-3, but the Nats can pull ahead with a sweep. I may be able to catch it on TV though.

Leskathon! – ?????? Late-night FREE MONEY guru Matthew Lesko will be answering questions on Capitol Hill for 72 consecutive hours, August 14-16. How many different ?????? suits do you think he’ll go through?

h/t CityDesk – CityPaper

In my absence, the Pentagon City bureau chief will be filling in. Have a great week!