On the night before the Blue White Game, something called the Gridiron Bash is bringing Beaver Stadium its first concert ever. Since 1960, Beaver Stadium has been the home to the Nittany Lions, who have won two undisputed nationals championships, had five undefeated seasons, one Heisman Trophy winner and countless epic games. Given the stadium’s illustrious history, one would expect the first concert to feature a performer of incredible prestige, so they selected the one, the only:

Fergie

Yes, Fergie, a former meth addict with incontinence (or so I have read, though I can’t find the sournsweet.com post — remember them?). Fergie is not much a singer either, so she must be at least eye candy, right? Um, no that either. She’s isn’t worthy of tearing up the field with her stage. They ought to move her to Lot 11.